Social media is...
 the worst. Obviously. the unpaid internship you didn't sign up for.  giving you the ick. a never-ending project with no deadlines or snacks.  your boss now. And it hates you.  something we (barely) tolerate when it works. 

brand voice = when your business talks like
a real human instead of a LinkedIn post.
This is that.
logo = the fancy word for
“please remember us later”

🙄

Strategic-ish support with a side of sarcasm.

For burnt out business owners.

tagline = the tinder bio of your business.
make it weird. make it work.

🫠

We're not open yet. but the algorithm is.

Coming soon-ish. Because apparently, you still need content. 

subheading = the part that pretends to explain things
but is really just emotional damage control

👀

What you can expect...

  1. Strategic-ish support for burnt out business owners that would rather listen to hold music than post on social.
  2. Slightly unhinged merch that probably shouldn’t exist but definitely will.
  3. ??? – honestly we’re making it up as we go (just like everyone else).
feature list = the part where we bribe you
with what’s coming so you don’t leave yet.

Ugh, fine.
You can read these while you wait.

The future of content creation aka synthetic media = letting the robots take over

How to deal with negative comments without setting your business ablaze

How to survive raising your prices without starting a riot

How to pitch to the press without losing the will to live

Email Marketing – the necessary evil you’re probably ignoring

Your 5-Step SEO Strategy because you’re also a full-time web developer now

Conquer content creation before it conquers you

Generate new business with lead magnets (because apparently that works)

Start blogging for your business even if you’d rather set your laptop on fire.

SEO – What it is, why it matters and why you’re stuck dealing with it

read more from the library

✅

What you can do...

While you wait for us to get our sh*t together. 

Drop your details below if you want us to tell you when this bad boy is live. Or don’t. We’re not your boss. 

the call-to-action = marketing magic that makes you do
whatever we want. cue evil maniacal laugh...

Ugh, Testimonials

Because nothing says “trust us” like made-up praise from imaginary strangers. 

"Honestly didn't expect strategy and sarcasm to co-exist this well. But here we are."
Jamie, burnt-out brand builder with a post-it based content plan
"Somehow made me feel seen, dragged and supported. All in one scroll."
Clare, business owner with a mild meme dependency
"Feels like it was built for me. Like, me me. The emotionally fried kind who knows better but still ignores their marketing."
Ashley, allergic to funnels and feelings
"Didn't promise the moon. Promised tolerable content. Delivered."
Drew, entrepreneur powered by caffeine and chaos
"Less: crush your goals, and more: survive the algorithm. Which is exactly what I needed."
Taylor, left their niche in 2023 and never looked back
"Strategic enough to work. Lazy enough to love. I didn't know that was possible."
Jess, currently building a brand from their Notes app
"It's like someone took my existential crisis and made it a content plan. Beautiful."
Meghan, held together by deadlines and denial
"Finally found a system that works with my chaos, not against it."
Ben, corporate refugee turned reluctant entrepreneur

Disclaimer: These reviews are fictional. We made them up because you haven’t left any yet. But if you want to say something equally dramatic, we won’t say no. 

give us a real review

testimonials = proof that someone, somewhere bought the thing and didn't regret it. allegedly.

📬 Subscribe-ish

Get strategic-ish, supportive and surprisingly useful content (sometimes). No BS. No algorithm worship. Just marketing for us mere mortals, plus the occasional reminder that you’re not alone in hating this. 

Sign up if: 

  • You want to market your business without losing your will to live 
  • You appreciate sarcasm and strategy
  • You like emails that feel like a text from your tiredest friend
 
We’ll only send stuff worth opening. Probably. 
 

strategic-ish support with a side of sarcasm. built for burnt out business owners.

the footer = where we hide all
the legally obligated stuff,
contact details (ugh, if we must),
And our feelings.
🕵🏼‍♀️
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